Natasa Nábozny | Originally published in Naturportál, 10 April 2026.

It is important to have articles like this and honest conversations, because even the rational mind needs to be „nourished” with something if you are to have any chance at all of allowing yourself to be drawn into the experience.

That’s how we work in my training courses too: first we build a cognitive framework – a framework for interpretation – and only then does what cannot really be taught take place. Everyone allows themselves to take the leap to the extent that they are ready for it. Whatever emerges in an individual or group setting always seems very real at first. Thoughts, feelings, reactions.

But if you can take a step back, you’ll realise that these are, for the most part, the workings of the mind.

Subtle distractions from what is actually going on inside you.

That is why we always start by learning to connect with ourselves.

Not in theory, but on an experiential level. This is what makes intimacy possible in the first place – first with yourself, and only then with someone else.

The feelings and thoughts that arise in the meantime are not problems. They are, rather, indicators. They show you where you are and what you’re dealing with. And if you don’t intervene too soon, these processes will begin to transform.

There comes a point where the process takes a turn. It is no longer you who is trying to control the experience; instead, something begins to guide you.

Energy – let’s call it that – takes over from the mind. We rarely remain in this state long enough for it to transform us profoundly. But even a fleeting touch of it has an effect.

This reminds me of a thought by Osho:

„Life is not a problem to be solved,
but a flow that one must experience.
The less you interfere,
”the deeper it begins to unfold within you."

Intimacy exercise

I thought I’d bring an exercise.

If you do this honestly, you won’t just understand it – you’ll start to experience the essence of it.

PRACTICE

Ingredients:

• Pure, high-quality coconut oil
• Oil heater
• Essential oil – I use ylang-ylang and cedarwood
• Soft cushions, a blanket, a rug
• Candles, incense
• Soft, unobtrusive music
• Peacock feather or any soft feather

Preparations

You can record the process on your phone, so you can listen to the instructions in your own voice until it works by itself.

Light a candle, or perhaps some incense. You don’t need to darken the room – in fact, it’s particularly useful to gain experience not only in the dark, but also in the light.

During the exercise, however, I would rather ask you to close your eyes and focus your attention on your breathing and on the sensation of touch.

Put on some soft, unobtrusive music!

On YouTube, you can easily find audio tracks labelled „tantra music” or „tantric meditation music” that don’t distract you, but instead create a gentle, supportive space.

If possible, use an oil warmer that can be heated with a tea light. Do not mix the essential oil directly into the carrier oil – we will use it separately, as it is not suitable for use on all parts of the body.

Essential oils will only be produced at certain points and in a specific manner.

It’s worth preparing the space in advance. Use cushions, a soft blanket or a rug, and sit on the floor – this way you’ll stay more in touch with your body, and the oil won’t cause any discomfort, as it might on a bed.

Have the following items to hand: the oil, the essential oils, and a feather – for example, a peacock feather or any other soft tool that provides a gentle touch.

Make yourself comfortable!

You can do this exercise in your underwear, or even completely naked – the main thing is that your body is free to respond, and that you feel no tension about the way you look.

The exercise

Close your eyes and lie on your back…… Take five deep breaths, one after the other!

As you breathe in, hold it for a moment, then breathe out slowly and completely…….It may help if you imagine that, as you breathe in, you are channelling the energy from your lower centre all the way to the top of your head, allowing it to flow upwards along your spine.

You can gently place your tongue against the roof of your mouth… Be present in the moment… Be present with yourself. After five breaths, slowly sit up. Apply a little oil to your hands – you don’t need much, just enough to aid the touch. Then place a few drops of essential oil on your fingers and begin to circle the area of your heart chakra, in the centre of your chest, with slow, continuous movements in a clockwise direction……………….. Continue with this movement.

Circular movements in a clockwise direction support stimulation – opening up and invigorating the energy. There’s no need to press hard, nor to „force” anything. Just let the movement and your attention work together…… After a few minutes, place your left palm on your heart chakra and your right palm on your lower abdomen, in the area of the sacral centre…… And simply carry on breathing………..Next, take a pen in your hand and begin to guide it very slowly and gently over your body……Move along your arms, across your chest, then start moving downwards in spiral movements. Let the movement be continuous; don’t try to rush it. ……..Linger on your legs, your waist and your stomach too – a little bit everywhere……Then put a little oil on your hands and start massaging one of your legs. No special technique is required – you can use any movement, or simply stroke the skin slowly and mindfully, spreading the oil……Always focus your attention on wherever you’re touching yourself at that moment……And breathe into that spot as you go……Move slowly, all the way up to the top of your thigh.

Spend about 5–6 minutes on one leg……..Then go through the same process with the other leg. ………….You can vary the rhythm and the movements, but the key point remains the same throughout: stay in touch with the sensation and stay present in your body……Once you’ve finished with both legs, move on to the lower abdomen and abdominal area…… Take a little more warm oil and massage this area slowly using circular movements…….If it feels right, you can follow the natural direction – clockwise – but here too, it’s not the technique that matters, but being present……Breathe into it.

Pay attention to the touch! Spend a few minutes on this part too. Then slowly move on towards the chest. Gently touch the chest, the neck and the shoulders. If it feels comfortable, reach back to your shoulder blades as well, and include the upper back in the process. Keep it slow! Stay focused!

Then move on to your arms………Gently stroke your entire arm, using soft, gentle movements. Don’t rush it. Allow the touch time to „settle in”………….Keep your attention focused on wherever you are touching yourself, and let your breathing accompany this movement. Breathe into that spot – as if your attention and the air were arriving together at that area……………Meanwhile, you can let your body move gently….Soft, wave-like movements may emerge as you follow the music. There’s no need to control them – let the movement unfold………….You can also experiment with different sensations.

You can gently blow on your skin, allowing the touch of the air to create a completely different sensation to that of your hand. Alternate between touching and blowing, between slower and livelier rhythms…………..You can even vary your own touch – with softer, deeper, lighter movements……….Notice how your body reacts to all this……..Stay with the experience.

Stay in the moment.

Next, pause for a moment… breathe… then take a little cedarwood essential oil and gently rub it just below your navel, about two or three finger-widths into the sacral centre area… move in slow, circular motions, following the direction of the clock… don’t rush… just stay with the movement and your breathing…

Next, adopt a comfortable, stable straddle position so that you can reach both your feet… place your hands on your ankles and start moving upwards along the outside of your legs… very slowly… with a steady, continuous touch… let both your hands move together… and meet at your lower abdomen, at the sacral centre…From there, turn back and move downwards along the inside of your legs… with the same slowness… with the same focus… all the way back to your ankles…Then start moving upwards again along the outer sides… and back down the inner sides… as if following a continuous flow… outwards and upwards… inwards and downwards…Repeat this 5–6 times… very slowly… paying attention to your body throughout… let the movement and your breathing be connected… and allow the experience to deepen of its own accord…

Next, starting from your sacral centre, continue working… touch your body with one hand, whilst the other rests by your side… do not place it on yourself, because where there is touch, there is also attention… let the hand you are working with guide the process… if you wish, you can involve your other hand later, but always remain consciously present with just one touch at a time…Start from the sacral area and move towards your left shoulder… move up across your chest, touching your neck as well… then, from there, move downwards in an arc towards the right side… return to the centre via your chest… and continue the movement downwards, all the way to the thigh… close the arc here… then move across to the other leg… and from there return to the sacral centre…

Next, move towards your right shoulder… work your way up across your chest… you can linger at your neck, making gentle, circular movements… then move in an arc across to the left side… and from there, guide your hand back towards the sacral area… from there, continue the movement towards your right thigh… then across to your left thigh… and close the loop…As you repeat this, the movement gradually becomes a continuous, flowing figure of eight across your body… above, between the chest and shoulders… and below, along the thighs and legs… over time, the lower curve of the figure of eight may descend further down the legs…

You can vary the rhythm and the tempo… but stay slow, mindful and present throughout… it’s not the form that matters, but what you sense as you go along…

Work on this for at least 10–15 minutes.

After the ‘eights’, you can continue by touching the intimate areas… but you can also skip this… in which case, starting from the sacral centre, guide the energy further upwards through the body…

Make straight, smoothing movements from the sacral area towards the heart… from there, continue towards the throat… then to the centre of the forehead, the area of the third eye… pause here for a moment and gently place a finger there… just hold it there… then slowly bring your attention and touch back to the centre of the heart…Linger here……………..Stay with the sensation… observe what is happening within you… do not analyse it… simply feel it…

Then, to finish, gently touch your face… whilst lying down, slowly stroke your face, your mouth, your ears and your neck… let this sequence of movements calm the process… and bring you back to full presence…Afterwards, if you’d like to continue the exercise… you can carry on whilst moving… or simply stay as you are and rest…

Notice what you really need right now… If you feel that silence is calling you, stay lying down… let your body integrate the experience… If, on the other hand, you feel the need to move, get up slowly… you can keep your eyes open or closed… whichever feels more natural…

Let the music guide you… start moving gently, in time with the rhythm… there’s no need to force it into a specific form… there’s no need to „do it right”… just let the movement arise…You can even walk around the room… whilst continuing to touch your body… with the same focus, the same presence… Stay with this… for as long as it feels right…

I hope that through this exercise I’ve managed to give you a little taste of how you can connect with your own body and with intimacy in a different way…If you’d like to explore this further, my women’s touch therapy training course is starting soon… I’m also planning a course based on self-massage…I work with both individuals and couples… I welcome women, men and couples for training… as well as for relationship and intimacy mediation, and psychosexual mentoring…

Course and contact details

Temple of Body Awakening™ – women’s touch therapy training: https://naboznymetodus.hu/temple-of-body/

Contact: https://naboznymetodus.hu/kapcsolat/#idopontfoglalas

Original article

Naturportál – Intimacy in Practice (10 April 2026) https://naturportal.hu/lelki-egeszseg/intimitas-a-gyakorlatban/